I think it boils down to the long run. The person you choose to spend your life with has to be the “one”. Come what may, during the trials of life they have to the “one”.
Happiness is important to me. In my senior years with my senior wisdom I have found for me that I need “happiness”. Further I need to be around people that make me happy. In our relationship therefore I needed somebody who enjoyed doing the same kinda things I did. Going out and experiencing new things. This I believe keeps a relationship fresh and vibrant.
We started with very humble begins and continue in that same humility. Nothing fancy only a simple dream on my part of growing old. It is 36 years later and I remember that first dance as if it was yesterday…
Life has not been filled with anything but the riches of love. That love sustaining us through the rough seas of life.
In my arms with all it’s charms. An intimate walk through life. Holding that person close. No further apart, than arm’s length apart.
We belong to this group called “1st fridays”. Once a month we get together with guitars in hand and sing folk songs. Our friend “Joe” does this tune well and it kinda says it all. “Dreaming” of love. Awakeful dream, a constant dream of that person.
I’m not talking about obsession. But a wanting of that person. A need fulfilled.
The proverbial “thunder bolt” You will know when it hits!
Dreams do come true, just kinda have to make them happen. Hard work… but worthwill endeavor.
“As we stroll along together,”as the song goes. “Holding hands,” is so important. You don’t want to hold that persons hand or be seen holding hands then you kinda need to relook the relationship. This applies to whether the relationship is new, or 35 plus years in the making.
BobbyD every winter has dry hands. Some years worse than others. That ability to look beyond the superfical is what keeps us together. Holding hands. Kinda simple but vital in a relationship.
Holding hand is very intimate. The person your holding hands with can only be one arm apart.
The simple act of being intimate through holding hands. Walking arm in arm. Hugging. Has kept our love the same or has deepened it for those 35 plus years of marriage.
So no matter what the relationship is think to you walk to go through time with that person holding hands? A simple question, for better or worse. Through sickness and through health. Holding hands!
My day, every day begins with coffee. Bobby makes it and I wait… usually watching the news. We use a self pour system which means “work”. The water has to be boiled, and then poured slowly over the drip. It is kinda old school & manual. I take my coffee with milk, and last Christmas I was given the luxury of a frothier. Which, again is old school & manual.
A person has to adore you a step beyond “love”. To every morning make the coffee and bring it to you. BobbyD, adores me.
I can make coffee but it is this morning ritual, playing out ~ day after, day. Into year after year. I never asked BobbyD to do this and trust me it isn’t a requirement. However; this one morning task is how we begin our day. Each day! Thirty five, plus years of days… adoring each other.
It kinda has to start and end with adoring the other person in your relationship. If not, then it becomes a one sided or a one way relationship. Each person although unique has to venerate the other. Not an easy task thought thick and thin.
It doesn’t matter if it is a hetrosexal or same sex relationship without that mutual attraction and adoration the relationship will not last.
Life is a struggle and struggle or hard times are sure to come. However; you don’t have that feeling or let go of the feeling that you once had your love with not last…
BobbyD and I have flat tires, bills to pay, we get lost driving places just like everybody else. However; for us it isn’t the end of the world. We hold onto each other. We support each other thought the hard times, and through the good times. Why? Simply because we ‘adore’ each other.
I’m BobbyD’s best friend. BobbyD is my best friend. Best friends!
Both BobbyD & I remember the night we met. That was 39 years ago. Through thick and thin we have that special moment where two hearts beat as one. We became a unit when we married. I consider him in all the decisions I make and conversely BobbyD does the same for me.
Mother Therese said “a life worth living is worth living for others.” And so it is in our marriage. It is me first it is still we first. Dinner’s are what we like not what I like take it or leave it. Vacation’s are what we like not what I like take it or leave it. It is today, tomorrow, yesterday, and forever love!
There is no time limit and belonging as the day we wed is kinda for us ~ forever…:
This wonderful thing we call love has sustained us through many storms. The travails of life come. The bloom of youth goes. We get older. If you don’t have that feeling of belonging it is easy to give up. I’m not judging those that haven’t been able to make it work. Just kinda saying ~ what’s work for us…: