“As we stroll along together,”as the song goes. “Holding hands,” is so important. You don’t want to hold that persons hand or be seen holding hands then you kinda need to relook the relationship. This applies to whether the relationship is new, or 35 plus years in the making.
BobbyD every winter has dry hands. Some years worse than others. That ability to look beyond the superfical is what keeps us together. Holding hands. Kinda simple but vital in a relationship.
Holding hand is very intimate. The person your holding hands with can only be one arm apart.
The simple act of being intimate through holding hands. Walking arm in arm. Hugging. Has kept our love the same or has deepened it for those 35 plus years of marriage.
So no matter what the relationship is think to you walk to go through time with that person holding hands? A simple question, for better or worse. Through sickness and through health. Holding hands!
My day, every day begins with coffee. Bobby makes it and I wait… usually watching the news. We use a self pour system which means “work”. The water has to be boiled, and then poured slowly over the drip. It is kinda old school & manual. I take my coffee with milk, and last Christmas I was given the luxury of a frothier. Which, again is old school & manual.
A person has to adore you a step beyond “love”. To every morning make the coffee and bring it to you. BobbyD, adores me.
I can make coffee but it is this morning ritual, playing out ~ day after, day. Into year after year. I never asked BobbyD to do this and trust me it isn’t a requirement. However; this one morning task is how we begin our day. Each day! Thirty five, plus years of days… adoring each other.
It kinda has to start and end with adoring the other person in your relationship. If not, then it becomes a one sided or a one way relationship. Each person although unique has to venerate the other. Not an easy task thought thick and thin.
It doesn’t matter if it is a hetrosexal or same sex relationship without that mutual attraction and adoration the relationship will not last.
Life is a struggle and struggle or hard times are sure to come. However; you don’t have that feeling or let go of the feeling that you once had your love with not last…
BobbyD and I have flat tires, bills to pay, we get lost driving places just like everybody else. However; for us it isn’t the end of the world. We hold onto each other. We support each other thought the hard times, and through the good times. Why? Simply because we ‘adore’ each other.
I’m BobbyD’s best friend. BobbyD is my best friend. Best friends!
Both BobbyD & I remember the night we met. That was 39 years ago. Through thick and thin we have that special moment where two hearts beat as one. We became a unit when we married. I consider him in all the decisions I make and conversely BobbyD does the same for me.
Mother Therese said “a life worth living is worth living for others.” And so it is in our marriage. It is me first it is still we first. Dinner’s are what we like not what I like take it or leave it. Vacation’s are what we like not what I like take it or leave it. It is today, tomorrow, yesterday, and forever love!
There is no time limit and belonging as the day we wed is kinda for us ~ forever…:
This wonderful thing we call love has sustained us through many storms. The travails of life come. The bloom of youth goes. We get older. If you don’t have that feeling of belonging it is easy to give up. I’m not judging those that haven’t been able to make it work. Just kinda saying ~ what’s work for us…:
If love is all I need, then why BobbyD. And on BobbyD’s side, why me? I think it comes down to that special feeling. A knowing that person is the one. Like looking at a litter of kittens or puppies. How do you know which one? It is an feeling you get… I can’t see the wind but I know the wind when I feel it. I can’t see the heat or the cold but I know the heat of summer. The cold of winter when I feel it.
I believe in love. It is stronger than hate. It is kinda God on earth when we love another. Or, at least for me…
For the past 2 years BobbyD has driven me crazy with, “I want you to be happy.” I’ve been retired for a number of years. My days kept full with gardening.
So when the opportunity presented itself to me to become ordained and serve the LGBT community with marriage officiating. I considered it for a while before speaking to BobbyD about it. A happy time, filled with love, hopes, and dreams. I am now “ordained”. The pieces falling into place as I await my first clients.
Let’s get real you need more than “air to breath”. However; if you don’t start with that feeling of only “needing air to breath” it will be a hard road making a relationship last.
Staying in love requires; hard work to make it the long haul. It has to be more than a feeling. Although it starts with that first attraction. Then slowly builds from that foundation.
You have to want it to work. Your joy needs to be, making that other person happy. Wanting that other person we are with to smile and enjoy life.
Holding the others happiness close to your heart. Once, we forget this then it isn’t love. It is a relationship.
It is hard work making a marriage work. It is hard work making a relationship work. It is kinda capturing that feeling that you had in the beginning and never wanting it to end…